The Artist's Way - Entering Week 7
Art is how I make my life, not how I make my living.
Week 6 Recap
Hello, friends!
What a week I’ve had! The simple version is that it was amazing to participate in Arts in the Park in Ocean Park, Maine, and the complicated version is that while it was amazing, it was also an intense roller coaster ride that I’m still making sense of.
I arrived Sunday morning around 9 and immediately spotted some inspiration in the form of a slightly neglected cottage tucked behind tall pines, so without any delay, I set up my easel and got to work. Day 1 went full steam ahead with great confidence. I completed two paintings, both of which felt successful to me, but by the end of the day my back was aching and my right hand was already sore from all that drawing and painting.
On Monday, I found a beautiful spot to set up overlooking a tidal stream, and shortly after I arrived one of the other artists, Melanie Levitt, set up beside me. We braved the wind and sun together there, each of us completing multiple paintings as the view changed dramatically between the changing light and tide. I was very happy with the first painting, which I completed entirely in transparent watercolor and for which I used some pigments that I don’t often experiment with to capture to colors of the scene.
For the second painting, I decided to experiment more. After all, I’d brought a bunch of mixed media supplies, so I figured I should use them. I laid in the initial wash in watercolor and then used Neocolor I wax pastels, watercolor pencils, water soluble graphite, and pen and ink on top. I wasn’t sure the experiment worked, but that’s the thing about experimentation: Often the end result isn’t what you were after, but you learned something from it, so it was still useful, right? Knowing I had three solid paintings already, I didn’t mind that the fourth wasn’t all I could have wished. Also, I was hot, nearly blind from squinting in the sun, and exhausted, so I packed it in for the day.
On the third day, though, things took a bit of a turn for the worse. This was the rocky part of the roller coaster ride where I sort of just wanted it to be over. My hand hurt from spent over ten hours painting in the previous two days, the heat and humidity were getting to me, the greenhead flies were out in force, and I was having a serious confidence wobble.
The night before, I had met all 5 of the other artists when the event organizer host us for dinner. What I had learned was that I was the only amateur in the group. These were all people with decades of painting experience! Gallery representation! Awards! Members of the Salmagundi Club! What was I doing there? What’s more, I learned that it had been a competitive jurying process for acceptance.
I am not being falsely modest when I say that I had assumed it wasn’t competitive for two reasons:
1. There were only 6 artists, which I thought meant there hadn’t been tons of interest;
2. I got in.
Well, it turns out, that the 6-person limit is part of the design of the event, and actually I was one of only three people newly juried in this year from a pool of 36 applicants. This information freaked me out. Suddenly I felt pressure to prove myself.
So Tuesday I found a spot in some shade, spent nearly 2 hours doing an insanely detailed drawing, and then quickly ruined said drawing with paint. By the time I was done I was hot, hungry, and disgusted. I took a break from the heat by driving around in my car with the AC blasting and the heated seat on to try to ease my sore back. I vowed not to even try again until after 4 when the day started to cool down again.
Did I stick to that? No. After running into another artist, I decided to go to the beach and try to sketch some of the colorful umbrellas. Mistake. It was like I’d forgotten how to draw and paint. Nothing was working. I went back to my host’s house to regroup with absolutely nothing to show for the nearly 5 hours I spent painting that day. After a little time to cool down, I decided I’d calm my nerves and regain some confidence by sketching some flowers. And you know what? That didn’t work, either. I literally couldn’t even draw flowers, which is kind of my thing.
As I was packing up I got a text from Melanie that she and another artist were going to the beach to sketch sunset. She invited me to join. For some reason, I agreed to go, although I wasn’t sure I would try to paint. I didn’t want to end the day more frustrated than I already was. I had only ever tried to paint a sunset en plein air once before and it was a disaster, and, for that matter, I seldom paint sunset skies even back in my studio. Still, I tagged along.
When we got to the beach, I realized I really had nothing to lose. The scene before me was changing by the second between the sunset light and outgoing tide, so anything I did would have to be a spontaneous reaction to the scene, and not an attempt at a realistic representation. I went for it, and I’m so glad I did, not because I produced any masterpieces, but because it felt really good to let intuition take over and play with paint. I did two small studies, one as the sun was sinking behind the trees and one of the pinkish glow of last light, and I felt the day had been redeemed.
Wednesday morning, knowing I now I had three larger paintings and at least one small one (I wasn’t sure “Last Light” was worth considering a finished piece, but “Sunset” felt finished), I decided to just have fun.
I had spotted this pergola in a garden a couple of days earlier and knew it would be in dappled morning light. I decided to paint it in a looser style I’ve been developing in my sketchbooks that relies on the “direct” watercolor method of painting without an initial pencil sketch. Doing so can lead to wrong angles or wobbly lines, but usually also brings more energy to the sketch and even, sometimes, an end result that feels more accurate than a stiff drawing would. When a drawing is very tight, a single wrong detail throws the whole thing off. When painting loosely, feeling comes first and those inaccuracies melt into the background.
By lunchtime Wednesday, I was satisfied that I’d given it my all for three and a half days. I went to the beach and drank an iced coffee before preparing all my paintings for the exhibit.
There were so many great aspects of doing this event. Probably my favorite thing was talking to children from town who stopped by to see what I was doing as I was painting. Kids are great. They are so curious and unafraid to ask questions—and unafraid to tell you what they really think of your painting! A highlight of the exhibit Wednesday night was when two little girls came to give me a ribbon for my sunset paintings. Children in attendance were each given a ribbon to award to the artist of their favorite painting. It was a genuine honor when they handed me one. My other favorite aspect was meeting the other artists, all of whom were so welcoming and encouraging.
So, after spending a few days pretending to be a full time artist, am I now longing for that life more than ever? Honestly, no. Actually Wednesday night, as everyone was eagerly waiting to see which, if any, of their paintings would sell, my primary thought was gratitude that I don’t have to face that pressure. I can paint what I want without worrying about whether it will sell, because I don’t make a living selling paintings. What a gift that is.
What’s more, I don’t want to painting to be my only thing, and if I were a full time artist, it would really have to be. I’m a multi passionate person, and all the creative outlets I enjoy are important to me. I want to write and play guitar and paint. I don’t want to have to choose one and focus solely on it.
How blessed I am to have a career as a teacher where I get to use my creativity and my love of connecting with other people, and where I have summers off to nurture my own art practice. Honestly, I wouldn’t change a thing. My day job isn’t a shadow career. It’s a vocation.
Art is how I make my life, not how I make my living.
Now, back to the Artist’s Way… I did morning pages 3 of 4 days, and that was pretty good in the circumstances. I didn’t do any other tasks, but my whole week was an artist date, so mission accomplished.
Looking Ahead to Week 7
My favorite quote from the chapter on Week 7 was very early on: “Art is not about thinking something up. It is about the opposite—getting something down.” I do think that writing and art are about noticing. The better I am at observing people, places, and things, the better my writing and art.
As for perfectionism, I think Cameron glosses over it rather too quickly. If you want a deep dive into perfectionism, I recommend, The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control by Katherine Morgan Schafler. Sometimes perfectionism isn’t a world of “no first drafts, no rough sketches, no warm-up exercises” due to a needing to be perfect the first time. Sometimes perfectionism is a million drafts, an inability to move past rough sketches and warm-up exercises.
Another quote that struck me in this chapter, “Jealousy is always a mask for fear.” Cameron did talk about this in an earlier chapter, too, about using jealousy as a guide toward our desires, and I think she’s probably right.
Game Plan for Week 7
I will do morning pages most days.
I will take Cameron’s suggested mantra: Treating myself like a precious object will me me strong.
I will listen to music just for joy.
I will take myself into a sacred space (probably outdoors!) to savor silence and healing solitude.
I might create a wonderful smell of fresh baked bread in my house, but that’s not unusual.
So, how’s it going out there? Anyone still following along? How was week 6? What stood out in the chapter for week 7? Let me know, and stay creative, friends!
PS. My paintings from Ocean Park are for sale! Message me if you’d like more details about any of them :)
